If-then promise

The pattern

This still is filed under If-then promise.

Define

A conditional contract: if you do this, you get that. The sentence can be tested against the reader's own case.

Mechanism

Specificity does the persuading. The if names the action. The then names the outcome. Hedging kills it.

Verdict

We can name both the action and the result without adjectives

Why it works

The headline is a line the reader has heard said about himself, quoted in the voice of a man who has already escaped it, so shame and aspiration are delivered in the same sentence. The specific number, ninety-seven pounds, does what "skinny" cannot: it makes the claim checkable and repeatable, and it became the campaign's asset. The body copy sells the method by what it removes, no gadgets, no contraptions, no gym, only fifteen minutes in the privacy of your own room, which answers the real objection of a reader too embarrassed to be seen training. The ask is a free book rather than a course, so responding does not require admitting to a purchase.

The big idea

The man now titled World's Most Perfectly Developed Man was once mocked as a skinny 97-pound weakling, and his method needs only 15 minutes a day at home.

The offer

A free illustrated book, Everlasting Health and Strength, for the coupon mailed to Charles Atlas, Dept. 132P, 115 East 23rd Street, New York. No price is shown.

The proof

Atlas's own before and after story with a named weight, 97 lb., his photograph captioned as holder of the title, and thousands of other fellows said to be changing his way.

Lines from the ad

And to think they used to call me SKINNY!

Give Me 15 Minutes A Day And I'll Give You A NEW BODY

PEOPLE used to laugh at my skinny, 97 lb. body.

Steal this when

Use this when your customer's problem is one they are quietly ashamed of and your founder or a customer has publicly escaped it. Lead with the insult in their own ear, attach a hard number to it, and make the first step private and free.

The emotion

Written to Shame. It makes the Avoid mistake.

The headline 'And to think they used to call me SKINNY' and the line about people laughing at a 97 lb. body put the insult in the reader's ear and make his body the fault.

Puts the problem on the reader