Printers' Ink, Mar 11, 1891 (Vol. 4, No. 10): "Stray Shots" column by Artemas Ward of Sapolio ("Let me state my creed")
The pattern
This still sits in the public-domain pool. No pattern name yet.
Why it works
Artemas Ward's sharp aphoristic column attacking pretentious advertising jargon. Blunt reminders to say what you mean in plain words puncture agency pretension.
Steal this when
When editing advertising copy to strip away pompous phrases in favor of blunt common words.